How we get Bailey to eat...

Colorado Visit

It was so good to get out to Colorado and see my brother. He just made me feel so much better about everything. His spirits are still so high, despite everything he is going through and that makes me so happy. Of course when he got his halo on Friday, it was hard for everyone - and hearing that surgery is a for sure thing was difficult to swallow. But really, there is no choice in the matter - so we just deal with it and move on.

Brendan got to move to his own private room, which is so nice. He was sharing a room with a younger guy. His roommate was going through a lot of denial and depression it seemed like. He refused to eat, wouldn't go to any of his classes or physical therapy, and would pretend he was sleeping when people came in. It didn't seem like he had a very good relationship with his father either, which you could tell was really hard on his dad. I pray that this kid will come to accept his challenges, but it's just so hard because he is able to lift his arms up by his face and Brendan would KILL to be able to do that. But then there's Brendan. He can barely twist his left arm, he got a halo put on, he has to have surgery in two weeks - and he is laughing and talking football with my dad. He was eating pizza the night his halo was put on. He knows every medicine he is taking, when he gets his next dose, when the nurses are late with it, when he needs to be turned, when he should do his breathing exercises, he is just on top of it all and is so cooperative. Honestly, I don't think Craig Hospital could get a better patient.

It was hard to leave, especially not really knowing when my family is going to be back home. And with me getting more uncomfortable with this pregnancy and having a packed September, I doubt I will make it out there again. It would really stink to not have them home for Christmas or the birth of this second baby - but I can handle it. And I know that it's more important for my parents to be with Brendan than me.

A few nights ago, when I was trying to fall asleep - I wondered what I used to worry about before bedtime and how I would give anything to have those small petty worries over what I worry about today. I know there will come a time when things all seem back to "normal" - but that just seems like so far away. So until my family is back in MN, happy and healthy as can be - we will just take it one day at a time and continue to pray and stay positive.

Whew!

I had the re-check ultrasound this morning, honestly I was really nervous. Of course baby was in the exact same position, so she kept having me roll onto my sides and tilted the chair back, I just kept thinking what is wrong!?! So then, we decided I should drink some water and walk around for a bit. So I did that and we tried it again. For one split second, she saw what she needed to see, and then baby moved. This baby is definitely proving to be a stubborn one. Hmm, I wonder where they got that from! The tech said everything looked great (finally!) and I got some more profile shots of the baby.

So now I go in at 24 weeks for my glucose test and then I will have another ultrasound around 32 weeks to check out my placenta. I'm hoping that it will move up, but having a c-section is not the end of the world and I will be at peace with it if that is what needs to happen!

Cousins!!!

Tristan Robert Starkey was born on August 6, 2009 at 11:15 pm. He was 7 lbs 10 oz and 20 1/4 inches tall! His parents are Dan and Jenny Starkey, Dan is Tom's cousin. Congrats you guys!!!

Here is the new happy family!

And here Jack is ruining their nice TV

hmmm, what is this thing? I don't think he even noticed Tristan



Jack, where is Tristan's nose?

Jack, stop poking Tristan's eyeballs

Mommy, why are you holding another baby? That's Ari, my niece!

The Starkey men and their kids! Eric and Ari (8 weeks), Tom and Jack (19 months), Dan and Tristan (3 days)!

And now the mommies!

Petting Zoo

Yesterday we took Jack to our church's Harvest Festival. They had a petting zoo for the kids. Honestly, I was more afraid of the animals than Jack. I hate ducks and they had about a bazillion of them. Jack of course loved the ducks. It was super muddy too - but oh well, it was good for Jack to see and touch live animals instead of just read about them in books. He is such a busy boy, all he wants to do is run away. His face was seriously purple by the time we left.

Jack relaxing after the festival - doing what he does best - watching Dora, or what he calls "Map"

Petting the goat

Get me outta here!

Ducks, quack quack

It's a llama

What is this thing?

Baby's First Pictures

This first picture is of Jack at 20 weeks, the other two are of baby #2

So the ultrasound wasn't the BEST ultrasound I've had, but I suppose it could have gone worse. First the tech told me my placenta is really low, right next to my cervix. She wants me to have another ultrasound at 32 weeks to see if it moves, sometimes it does. If it does not move up, I will have to have a C-Section. Then she is trying to see all 4 chambers of the heart and the baby is just in a bad position. I tried going to the bathroom, moving on both sides, and still the baby wasn't cooperating. So she tells me I should come back in a week or so just so they can get a better look. She told me that what she sees looks fine, but she needs to be able to document it - which is why I need to come back. Everything else looked great - fluid levels were normal, measurements were nomal - due date being 12/26/09 - GREAT! Although if I have to have a c-section, at least it won't be on Christmas. So needless to say, it wasn't the best day. There is nothing I can do except pray that our baby is healthy as can be - and all signs point to yes it will be healthy - I just wanted to walk out of the dr being confident.

Anyways - Tom and I both thought the baby looked like Jack. It has that round face shape. The tech didn't even let us know when she was looking at the "parts" she really made no big deal of it. I left leaning towards it was a girl - Tom left leaning towards boy. haha. Heart beat was 150. What do you all think? I will go in next Friday for the re-check. Until then, happy thoughts.

Two Days

In two days we could find out if we're having a boy or a girl. But we are "those" people who don't find out, call us crazy - but it's just how we roll. I'm nervous that the technician is going to ruin it and give it away, or that my doctor will say something too. With Jack, I never had any dreams whether he was a boy or girl. With this one - I have had dreams where it's a boy and dreams where it's a girl. Weird. Since we aren't finding out the sex, there are two things I'm most excited for - 1 - to just see a picture of it!! When I saw Jack for the first time on the ultrasound, I thought his face shape looked just like mine. Which is originally why I thought it was a girl (that only lasted a few days, then I was back to being neutral). But when Jack was born, he definitely resembled me more than Tom. So I'm excited to see this one!!! 2 - I am PRAYING the due date is not in the 20's of December. I want it to either be way earlier - like in the teens, or way later - like New Years Eve. I just know if it's in the 20's it will be born on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Just knowing my luck! ha ha.

I'm going to start a HUGE baby pool once I'm a little further along where people can guess the sex, weight, length, date, etc. But for now - what are your thoughts? Will we have our very own Olivia? Or will Jack get a brother - name not yet known! ha ha. That is a whole other blog topic :-)

Not Why Me

Did anyone read the cover story in the Star Tribune today? The one about the 6 year old, Annika? I would attach the link - but apparently it's not online, you can only read it in the real paper. This family's house was destroyed by that tornado in Hugo, MN last year and their 2 year old son died and their 5 year old daughter was left with brain damage. These parents are not giving up on their daughter, despite what all of the doctor's might tell them. They have had to deal with this while grieving the loss of their son who was taken way too early. I can't even imagine. When I was reading this article two things came to my mind.

The first one is the phrase "why me" - the parents in this article talked about how they can't sit and dwell on the "why me" and I completely agree with that. In my 25 years of life I've really never had to deal with any sort of tragedy. Well that is until 3 weeks ago. I'm surprised that I haven't been more upset with God - but really He is the one who is getting me through this entire experience. There have been moments where I've asked Him - why us, why my family? Why Brendan? Why why why? But then I realize that is not going to do anything and it doesn't make me feel any better. I can't change the past. I know it's OK to be upset and confused, but I'm really trying to just stay positive.

That brings me to my second point. I am so thankful that my brother has a working mind right now. Growing up - when I would talk with my friends and we'd ask each other weird questions like what would be the worst thing that could happen to you? More often than not, someone would say becoming a quadriplegic. Having a fully functioning mind, but not being able to do things physically. Well now that this is happening to a loved one - I completely disagree. Sure Brendan might not be able to squeeze something, or run, or a lot of other things - but technology is so wonderful he will find ways to get certain things done - I know he will. Somewhere inside of him right now, there is that cheerful, laid back, fun loving Brendan we all know and love and I know it's going to shine once again. It's hard to admit that 3 weeks ago when this accident took place I was almost wishing he was brain dead or something so that he wouldn't have to deal with all of the things he is dealing with right now. I am so glad that wasn't the case because even though Bren is in a little bit of a slump right now - there are moments when I know it's him inside there and that he's going to fight through this.

So I will leave you with this picture in hopes that someday soon we can all see that gorgeous smile again! Safe travels to Colorado tomorrow brother :-)