It's been two years

It's been two years to the day since my brother's accident.

Last night when thinking about how life was two years ago, I got a little choked up. Sometimes I still ask the question "why" but it usually doesn't last very long. I decided to venture over to the Caringbridge website we created when Brendan first had his accident. I'm not exactly sure why I decided to do this, but I did. It was hard reading those first entries. Really, really hard to be honest. I don't wish this type of tragedy on my worst enemy (not that I really have enemies, but you know what I mean). As I was reading the entries I wrote, Tom wrote, my mom and dad wrote - I thought to myself - how in the world did we get through this? Seriously. But the truth is, we didn't have a choice. We had to push through and fight for Brendan. And that caringbridge website was a godsend. And actually facebook too. Brendan's face lit up every time he saw how many people were writing on his wall. We were being carried through this tragedy by all of our friends and family and also by people we had never met. The prayers, the letters, the hugs, the emails - that is what got us through the dark times. Caringbridge turned out to be our therapy. I remember every morning bringing Jack down to the kitchen table for breakfast. Turning on my computer and seeing how many more hits Brendan's site had. That would make me start crying - just seeing how many people cared. Then reading those guestbook entries. That had me crying too. Then I would shut my computer, look at my son and how happy he was at the moment and I chose to carry on with my day the best that I knew how. Because really, that's all I could do. I surrounded myself with people who lifted me up and made me happier than I ever thought I could be. Life goes on, whether you want it to or not, it does. And sometimes the realization of that sucks. But it's the truth.

I've changed a lot as a person since Brendan's accident. Maybe not in the most obvious way, but I have. I've realized that life is too short and you never ever know what the future holds, so just make the most of what you've got. I still stress about stupid things, that is just my nature - but when it really comes down to it, my brother's accident puts a lot into perspective.

I have sympathy for other families who deal with tragic accidents like this that I never had before. I hate that I can relate to practically living in an ICU, but I can and hopefully someday my words can comfort other people the way that others have comforted me.

The cabin this past weekend was incredible. It's such an amazing place and we had so much fun. I have a ton of pictures to share with you, but for now here are some pictures of my brother this past weekend.

"Gotta take the good with bad, smile with the sad, love what you got and remember what you had"

Typical Finn, crying

Wanna be gangsta

Bren and Rio

Beautiful Lake Wabana

Click here for Brendan's first year anniversary post.

And click here to sign up for the golf event or donate to the silent auction!