Besides the fact of having a "not so small" family and having my boys have TWO brothers to grow up with, I'm most excited about the newborn stage with baby #3. I'm definitely not excited about the lack of sleep, having to maintain my daily routine with the two older boys, get Jack off to preschool, etc etc. But I'm excited to hold my new baby and have him mush right into my body. I'm excited for his head to lay on my shoulder staring at my face while falling asleep. Then looking over at him and watching him do a laugh/smile while he is dreaming. I'm going to soak up the newborn stage as much as I can and I'm going to do it with happiness.
I feel like I robbed Finn of his newborn days. When Finn was born, my brother had just gotten home from Craig Hospital the month before. My family was still adjusting to their new normal. My head wasn't in the right spot and I couldn't really think clearly. It had only been five months since my brother's tragic accident, I was definitely not in my best place. And on top of everything, I'm pretty sure I was suffering Postpartum Depression. The first four months of Finn's life were brutal for me, and for my husband. Tom did so much more for Finn than he ever had to do for Jack in the middle of the night because I was losing my mind - seriously. I'm not sure if other people could tell how difficult of a time I was having, I'd like to think I did a good job of hiding my inner struggles, but it doesn't really matter anyway. I don't want things to be like this with baby #3. I want to enjoy it, I want to cherish it, and I want to look back on his first few months with no regrets. This is going to be my last baby and I have this feeling that the time is going to fly by.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Boy or Girl?
We decided third time around to find out the sex of the baby. Jack and Finn were both surprises, which was SO much fun! But this time, I wanted to know. We both wanted to know. Once we made the decision that we would find out the sex, it was SO hard waiting. We got a gift certificate to Bella Imaging which would allow us to find out closer to 16 weeks vs. the standard 20 week dr ultrasound.
Of course anytime someone found out we were pregnant again, they would make comments like "Trying for that girl, huh" or "I bet you are hoping for a girl." I don't know why, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. Why do people care so much about the sexes of other people's kids? Or why do they insist on making comments? To be completely honest, when I was pregnant with Finn - I desperately wanted him to be a girl. I thought the entire pregnancy that he was a girl. Everything about that pregnancy was so much different than it was with Jack's. So when he popped out with a penis, my heart sank a little bit. Eventually, I got over it - obviously. After Finn was born, I was completely set on not having anymore children. Finn was a huge challenge for me and going from one to two kids kicked my butt. I thought people who had three kids were insane. Tom on the other hand would always make comments like he knew we weren't finished having kids. Or that it was too early for me to make these kind of statements. To prove to him I wasn't kidding - I got rid of all of my maternity clothes, all of our baby equipment (once Finn outgrew it). I thought I was so on top of everything. Little did I know what a huge mistake I was making. Anyways, throughout this "process" I was able to come with the terms that I probably never would have a daughter. I would miss out on the prom dress shopping, the period talks, the shaving of the legs, the make-up application, the sex talks, the drama, the dating of older guys, etc. etc. It broke my heart a little bit, but I had two amazing sons that I was so excited about. And there is something so wonderful about a mother and a son. I can't really explain it.
SO when #3 came to be - it might shock everyone and their mothers that I actually WANTED another a boy. I didn't want a daughter. Is that horrible to say? I mean, don't get me wrong, I would have been thrilled and excited either way - but if I could have hand picked #3's sex, I would have picked boy. Tom and I both just had this gut feeling (me more than Tom) that it was a boy. And sure enough - it was confirmed at our 3D ultrasound that Baby Boy Starkey # 3 was growing inside of me.
Of course anytime someone found out we were pregnant again, they would make comments like "Trying for that girl, huh" or "I bet you are hoping for a girl." I don't know why, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. Why do people care so much about the sexes of other people's kids? Or why do they insist on making comments? To be completely honest, when I was pregnant with Finn - I desperately wanted him to be a girl. I thought the entire pregnancy that he was a girl. Everything about that pregnancy was so much different than it was with Jack's. So when he popped out with a penis, my heart sank a little bit. Eventually, I got over it - obviously. After Finn was born, I was completely set on not having anymore children. Finn was a huge challenge for me and going from one to two kids kicked my butt. I thought people who had three kids were insane. Tom on the other hand would always make comments like he knew we weren't finished having kids. Or that it was too early for me to make these kind of statements. To prove to him I wasn't kidding - I got rid of all of my maternity clothes, all of our baby equipment (once Finn outgrew it). I thought I was so on top of everything. Little did I know what a huge mistake I was making. Anyways, throughout this "process" I was able to come with the terms that I probably never would have a daughter. I would miss out on the prom dress shopping, the period talks, the shaving of the legs, the make-up application, the sex talks, the drama, the dating of older guys, etc. etc. It broke my heart a little bit, but I had two amazing sons that I was so excited about. And there is something so wonderful about a mother and a son. I can't really explain it.
SO when #3 came to be - it might shock everyone and their mothers that I actually WANTED another a boy. I didn't want a daughter. Is that horrible to say? I mean, don't get me wrong, I would have been thrilled and excited either way - but if I could have hand picked #3's sex, I would have picked boy. Tom and I both just had this gut feeling (me more than Tom) that it was a boy. And sure enough - it was confirmed at our 3D ultrasound that Baby Boy Starkey # 3 was growing inside of me.
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| Hello, Boy! |
Sunday, February 19, 2012
#3 is on the way!
Tom and I found out that we were expecting baby #3 on Sunday, October 23, 2011. I had some suspicions that I might be, but I knew it was still a little early for a positive test. But I decided to just take one for fun. To our surprise, we saw a faint line which confirmed the pregnancy.
As much as we were anticipating adding to our family, we were floored how quickly it happened. I was anticipating a few months of negative tests, but that's not what happened and that's a blessing. For the first week, I was in complete shock. I was scared. Actually I was more scared than I was when I found out we were pregnant with Jack. We already had two beautiful, healthy boys. What business did we have adding another child to our family? Some days I feel like I barely can control two, how in the world am I (are we) going to juggle three? It took a good week for things to sink in, and then all of a sudden, one day I just got really excited. Tom and I, since the day we started talking about getting married and having kids, have always said we wanted three kids. Sure three kids is more work, it's crazy, it's chaotic, it's stressful, it's demanding, it's a lot of work - but our house is going to be filled with love. Crazy, ridiculous amounts of love. And no matter what challenges or triumphs having three kids (three BOYS) will bring us - we have each other and there is nothing better than family.
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| Sunday Night Test -10/23/11 |
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| Monday Morning test - 10/24/11 |
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| Tuesday Morning - the real deal, ha |
As much as we were anticipating adding to our family, we were floored how quickly it happened. I was anticipating a few months of negative tests, but that's not what happened and that's a blessing. For the first week, I was in complete shock. I was scared. Actually I was more scared than I was when I found out we were pregnant with Jack. We already had two beautiful, healthy boys. What business did we have adding another child to our family? Some days I feel like I barely can control two, how in the world am I (are we) going to juggle three? It took a good week for things to sink in, and then all of a sudden, one day I just got really excited. Tom and I, since the day we started talking about getting married and having kids, have always said we wanted three kids. Sure three kids is more work, it's crazy, it's chaotic, it's stressful, it's demanding, it's a lot of work - but our house is going to be filled with love. Crazy, ridiculous amounts of love. And no matter what challenges or triumphs having three kids (three BOYS) will bring us - we have each other and there is nothing better than family.
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