Ultrasound, the 3rd time around

I remember my 20 week ultrasound with Jack like it was yesterday. We were living in Omaha and I loved my doctor's office. I remember eating some skittles right before my appointment, just to make sure we could watch the baby dance. We were dead set on not finding out the sex. I remember everything feeling like a dream. I couldn't yet feel the baby move, but I could see it practically doing flips on the monitor. It was so amazing. I thought the coolest part of the entire ultrasound was seeing the details of the beating heart and the four chambers. I was just amazed. I was flying high after we left. We were so clueless as to what a newborn was going to be like 24/7 or how much this baby was going to change our lives - good and bad, but mostly good.

Finn's ultrasound was a tad different. It took place when my mom and brother had just gotten to Colorado for Brendan's rehab. I was still grieving and barely had time to even remember that I was pregnant. I remember that Tom was with me at this ultrasound. And I remember a million things not going how I had hoped. The baby was breach. My placenta was low. And she couldn't get a good view of all 4 chambers of the heart. This all meant that I had to come back a week later. Not to mention multiple times because of my placenta issue. I still got giddy seeing my baby on the monitor and how big it was, but something inside of me kind of felt like "been there, done that." I figured this baby would come out with blonde hair, just a little of it, and would hopefully be the same angel baby that it's brother had been. Boy was I completely WRONG. Finn popped out with so much dark hair, the first thing I said was "where did this come from?" And angel baby he was not. I couldn't believe how two brothers could be more different. When all along during my pregnancy I was thinking how easy this was going to be second time around because I had done it before. Tisk tisk on me.

With #3's ultrasound, I was so relaxed. Maybe it's because we already knew it was a boy. Maybe it's because I know that this baby is it's own. It's not going to be just like Jack or just like Finn. Although I pray every day it's an easy baby for us. I can't wait to discover who this baby is and who he looks like (I'm secretly hoping he's bald with a just a dusting of blonde hair).

Some days I wake up and I can't believe that I am going to be a mother of three boys. THREE BOYS. That seems insane. But I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.